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| 10:44pm 03/03/2004 |
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this ones dead.
i got a new one.
xSatinSlippersx |
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| 11:11pm 02/03/2004 |
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mood:  stressed music: echo
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Last night after dance I went to get Dolan, then church, then Jordan called to see if we wanted to go with him and Dan. So we went to ( I dont know what its called now, but it used to be called Cafe Costa Rica ) It was fun. I rememaber going there with my dad to get a hot chocolate after my Ballet class down the street. :)
Then Dolan spent the night, We talked for like four hours straight.
Found a lot of stuff out. about myself. it was crazy. haha.
then today I danced and studied for like 2 1/2 hours for my ballet exam.
And did some other stuff around the house. Went to church... expecting something.
I was laughing about it at first.. then Pastor Mark asked me if i had a minute. hahahaha. wow. so I go in there and I was mad, but now I understand. so its all good. It wasnt what we all did. So we're fine.
Now its just funny.
Thank God my parents arent mad.
I seriously thought i wasnt going to be able to dance anymore.
But Im done.
Not finished yet... but I have a new LJ name.
xSatinSlippersx
add me. cause this ones goin bye bye.
<3
Maria |
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| 02:13pm 02/03/2004 |
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mood:  pissed off
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Im dead.
We're All dead.
Watch your journals. |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Dont wanna miss a thing |
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| 12:02pm 29/02/2004 |
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mood:  accomplished music: time of my life
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Today was good.
had a good time with brian.
I was with him all day, then came home and got something to eat with chris.
now i'm tired.
And having some good convos with Meg;)
we always have weird ones. a little crazy too sometimes. hahaha.
New SN: xWeGotTomorrow
And Im getting a new LJ. Im sick of this whole QT Ballerina thing.
time for change.
Im out. |
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| Your Somekind of miricle. |
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| 12:01pm 28/02/2004 |
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mood:  dirty music: yeah
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well, all that work paid off.
Me and Mills had fun making all the food. And Planing it and setting it up. Broke a few things. But over all it all turned out awsome.
Thanks Chris for letting us have it at your house.
I've never seen Jordan jump before. And he did. He started walkin outside again.
We went downstairs for a little bit, just foolin around, then we went upstairs to eat. Then downstairs.. and I think We danced for three hours straight. If not more.
Chris has a pole downstairs. I had fun with it.
My Mom came downstairs while i was having fun. hahahahaha.
She was laughing tho. All she said was "I didnt pay for all thos dance lessons to see you do that!" hahaha, I think it was the funniest thing in the world.
We danced so much. Me and Sam got it on.
Girls vs. Guys.
And girls dffinitly won.
Then Sam and I vs. Andy and Chris.
We won again.
I have never felt so dirty before in my life.
And with a bunch of church kids.
Aaron told me we all have to go to the alter on Sunday.
crazy crap.
But we had a lot of fun.
I love you Jordan.
And hope you had a good time.
Cause I did:)
Thanks everyone who came.
Im out. |
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Read 8 - Post |
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| Im not made of steel. |
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| 12:07pm 24/02/2004 |
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mood:  excited music: Our Lady Peace
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Yesterday I went to Dance. And it started snowing like crazy outside. wth.
I think it needs to go away.
I cant wait for spring. :)
Dance was good. It was a work out. My cecchetti exam is in like two weeks. I need to get my butt moving.
Im excited. but nervous at the same time.
Getting my dance pics soon. After I get new shoes. and a leotard and stuff. :-D
Last night i realized how beautiful it is.
Like the most beautiful thing i have ever seen.
anyways.
Today i woke up and Grams was here with poonchkies. hahaha.
Fat Tuesday. you know thos things have like 500 calories? holy crap.
anyone else polish?
later im going out with mills. shopping. :)
busy week.
Im out I was bored.
maria. |
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| Life is ours, we live it our way. |
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| 10:51am 22/02/2004 |
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mood:  scared music: MercyMe.
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Long day.
Big problem.
I need to run away. And start all over. Dont you wish it could work?
Run away from all your fears.
And heartaches.
And all the people around you.
Start off brand new.
I've said it before. But Its never been like this. I dont think I can take much more. It looks so little but then it feels so big.
Guys, I hate being like this. And I dont write about it for "attention" or w/e... But latley... its been so hard that all I can do is write about it. I have things to deal with but I can handle that. I grew up with it. I can handle parents, and friends, and boys. That stuff doesnt bother me like this. And even with loosing people. Its hard. Deffinitly hard. And it hurts. But this is so sharp. and So painful that all you can do is go in a corner and cry. Becuase you cant take it anymore. Its always there. Always.
Its like you get something to be happy about. But you can only be so happy for so long. Becuase out of no where, it hits you. Harder and harder each time.
Its hard for me to talk to people about it. So I dont. Wich makes it ten times worse.
I have faith. I always have. About everything. But when it comes to this... its like you need something else. That I dont have.
Dangit.
Im done complaining.
I hate complaining.
Im out. |
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| Theres still tomorrow forget the sorrow. |
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| 11:38am 21/02/2004 |
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mood:  exhausted music: Lost Prophets
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My weekend.
Friday: Went to dance, Nothing like dancing on a rainy day. I think its my favorite thing to do. :-D Then Witt and Kemper came to meet Chris and I at Bravo then we all went to Ashleys house to hang out. I guess? Then It came to 11 and we're all layin on her bed... and shes like yeah you guys should all just spend the night. So somehow everyone got to spend the night. That was fun. Me and Witt were in one pair of pants. It was so funny. Then Ashley was teaching me a dance to do to this Kirk Franklin song. We're going to go for it, and do it for youth. Risky. lol. Then at six in the morning we left... I came out of ashleys bed... cause witt went to bed, then i went.. cause i was tired from thursday night. then ashley came in with us. so i wake up and walk out there i guess? i didnt even know where i was. hahaha. then we left.. and Witt like did a 360 in the middle of the road. Chris is like OMG OMG OMG! i'm just sitting there and aarons freaking out too.. Chris gets out of the car and I start laughing. Idk why. Then Witt gets out of the car all calm and crap. haha. i love you meg. but i'm glad your okay. chris i think shlit his pants.
Saturday: Woke up at like one. then went to chris house and hung out. That was fun. Holmes was there. and man, i thought i was bad. with not being able to sit throught a whole friggin movie. he couldnt last a minute. i'm not even kidding. hahaha. then i went home and now i'm here. and tired as heck.
So Im out. |
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| These are the moments I thank God that Im alive. |
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| 12:17pm 20/02/2004 |
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mood:  touched music: Meghan friggin chewing.
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Amazing.
In one word. And that doesnt even describe how it was tonight.
Me, Mills. And a big part of my family went to the Mercy Me Concert tonight. With Amy Grant and Bebo Norman.
Bebo was good. I liked his voice alot. But I didnt care for Amy that much. Then Mercy Me came on... and wow. haha. I have never fealt like that before. Then everyone was sitting down and you hear the Piano for I can Only Imagine and I think everyone in my row started crying. It was powerful.
but deffinitly like the best night of my life.
Now me and Mills are over here chilling. :)
We got matching shirts.
And shes wearing big "COOL" sungleses. funniest things i have ever seen.
And I think shes getting slap happy.
This aint good.
I'm out. |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Life is not what i thought it was 24 hours ago. |
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| 11:05am 18/02/2004 |
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mood:  blank music: YellowCard
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^^^^Thanks Ty.
My mom found out I went tanning. lol. She didnt ground me or anything.... they were just mad i went behind their back. w/e.
Jillian called me on Monday. Spring break, i want to go with her to South Carolina. Just one problem. I go there and I wont want to come home... It happend to me last time.
So i dk. if I can take leaving again. we'll see.
Why is it your drawn to something.... and find yourself liking something a lot. but it always ends up to be soemthing you cant have. or something thats.... not there?
I dont even know what to say.
Sometimes I just wish i knew what people were thinking. so I dont feel like Im wasting my time. On anything. My heart says one thing. My friends say another. I want to do this. But someone tells me to do that. Im so confused. I guess it shouldnt matter... but it does.
If only they knew.
...if only.
This fear has worn me out.
Im done.
Megan Marie. |
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| 12:20pm 14/02/2004 |
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i forgot...
Im deffinitly going to mercy me.
lol. Me and mills :) :) :) :)
and my fam.
Thursday. |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| I close my eyes. Let this whole thing pass me by. |
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| 11:51am 13/02/2004 |
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mood: exhausted music: Blink 182
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havent updated in a while. I've been so busy latley. Im never home. Wow. im worn out. seriously. and i dont even go to a school.
Tonight I went out with brian. We hung out. talked. lol.
Then to melissa's game. Then steak and shake. then brians house and hung out there. I had a lot of fun. :)
and now.....
idk. i feel weird. different. just... werid.
wow i'm dumb. and done. haha.
<3. :)
Megan Marie. |
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| Bored. |
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| 11:17am 09/02/2004 |
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mood:  angry
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*Name: Megan
*Name backwards: nagem
*Hair: blondish/brownish
*Eyes: blue
*Height: 5'4
*Location: Michigan
*Place of Birth: Michigan
*Zodiac: Scorpio
*Status: single
*Religon: pentecostal / christian
*Innie or Outie? Innie
*Righty, Lefty, or Ambidextrous? righty
*Gay, Straight, Bi, or Other? Straight
AT THE MOMENT & AS/IS/WAS/ARE ...
*Right next to you: cd's cell phone and a coffee
*On the walls of your room: Um... A barre. drawings of me, mills, chris and ty. :-/
*On your mouse pad: idk?
*Your dream car: Mustang
*Your dream date: anywhere.
*Your bedtime: whenever
*Under your bed: a keyboarrd. and a bunch of old letters and pew cards.
*Your bad time of the day: trying to go to sleep
*Your worst fear(s): being sick. cancer. and fear itself.
*The weather is like: I HATE IT.
*The best trick you ever played on someone: hahahaha. i wont go there.
*The weirdest food or drink that you like: idk.
*The hardest thing about growing up: growing up. drifting apart. and finding out what life is really about. and loosing people you love.
*Your scariest moment: Walking in to a funeral.
*The silliest thing you've said: idk. haha.
*The worst feeling in the world: Fear. and being weak.
*The best feeling in the world: being in someones arms.
*the time: 9:28
*the date: 02-09-04
*what are you wearing? tights, BDC leotard, ballet slippers, and my BDC hoodie. haha. still havent changed.
what song are you listening to? Some christian one.
*What color underwear do you have on right now? I dont have panties on. (cant wear em' to dance)
*What was the last thing you ate? a drink of coffee
*what was the last thing you said? dang you
*what was the last thing you watched? center stage
*what are you doing tonight? gunna try to get some sleep.
*are you lonely? a lot of the time. but its all good.
*Are you happy? about...?
*are you tired? yeah a little
*are you on the phone? no, but mills just tried calling. lol.
*Last movie you saw: You Got Served (good movie)
*Who is the last person you saw?: my Mom
*Who is the last person you kissed?: what kind?
*Who is the last person you hugged?: Dolan
*Who is the last person you fought with?: Mom or Chris
*Who is the last person you were on the phone with?: Suzie.
*Who are you talking to?: Jordan
*Where are you?: living room
*Are you in a chatroom?: no
FAVORITE
*animal: cats and horses
*food: Grams spegetti
*show: Dont watch TV
*song: right now... hands down. Idk. i have so many. ask dolan everytime something came on the radio "OH! i love this song" haha. your the same way meg.
*band(s): to many to write. a lot.
*sport: dance :) but i like to play everything
*quote: a lot. but... probobly " I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" " I will rise on wings of eagles, soaring high abouve all my fears, I rest in your open arms of Love." (thanks jordan)
*flower: Crazy Daisys? (for my Aunt)
*movie: Center Stage or Girls just want to have fun or A walk to remember
*holiday: I dont like holidays. I dont know why. Thanksgiving?
*season: spring and summer
*book: my ballet ones. haha.
*number: 7
*day: Saturday or Sunday Wedensdays too.
*month: August? or July.
*class: idk. Science?
*drink: Southern Tea.
*store: AE
*word: idk.
*Fave day of the year? when the day comes.... that im not afraid. of anything.
*Fave writer? hmmm i dk?
*Fave actor? who ever.
*Fave actress? idk.
*Fave weather: hot. and sunny :)
*Fave music? all kinds.
RANDOM
*How many rings before you answer the phone: a lot. haha.
*Future Career plans: Become something amazing. something Im good at. Hair? or makeup?
*Do you sleep with stuffies?: a blankie?
*Are you popular: depends where i am.
*Are you pretty: I think i was blessed with stuff i dont have a problem with. but i dont think i'm pretty or anything.
*Do you have your own phone line?: does a cell phone count?
*Do you get along with your family?: nope. :-/
*Do you have any piercings or tattoos?: nope, none.
*do you live in the moment?: I try to.
*Do you care about looks?: yeah. I cant go out of the house feeling like crap cuase i look like crap. but i'm not all like OH NO MY NAIL kinda girl. haha.
*Do you like your handwriting?: no
*obession: dont think so. if anything came close it would be dance.
*Do you ever wish you were somebody else? not someone else.... but wish i had things i dont.
*If u were a crayon, what color would u want to be? pink.
*Where do u want to go on your honeymoon? Hawaii or New York to see a Ballet. but after the first night.
*Who do u want to spend the rest of your life with? God.
*Do you have a lava lamp? not no more.
*First thing u notice about the opposite sex? clothes. hair?
*Alcoholic?: no.
*How do u eat a creme egg? grose!
*What makes you happy? being with someone that makes me not afraid. or... cuddling.
*What's the best advice given to you? Live in the Moment.
*If you could have one wish what would you wish for? To have my Aunt Back here. Or to not be afraid.
*Do you like to dance? All the time. If i'm not dancing with my feat. I dance in my head. haha. Im not crazy. but when theres music.. i'm always dancing.
*Are you shy to ask someone out? no. but i would never do it.
*Have you ever been in love? no. I dont think so. I only want it to happen once.
*What is the stupidest thing you've done? haha. who knows.
*On the phone or in person? in person
*Hugs or kisses? both.
*what color is your floor in your room? white? cream? idk. Me and my cousin put so many stains on that stuff.
*How did you spend the past summer? hurt. It was the worst one. but.... I did have a lot of fun on vaca with my cousins. :)
HAVE YOU EVER ...
*Loved someone so much it made you cry? not becuase i liked them. but maybe ccasue i couldnt have them.
*Gone all the way? no.
*Been on stage? yeah :) feeling that nothing else can give you.
*Peed in your pants? hahahaha. yeah. steak and shake. wow.
*Dumped someone? yeah. :-/
*Gotten in a Car Accident? yeah.
*Watched Punky Brewster? whats that?
*Hiked up a mountain? went mountain climbing but not.... a real one. it would be fun tho.
*Stayed home on a saturday night just because? yeah. pretty sure. lol.
*Made homemade fudge? no.
*Seen the eiffel tower? nope
*Skinny dipped: yeah
*Been to a concert? yep
*Been on a rollercoaster? yes mam.
*Done something extreme? haha. yeah.
*Asked someone out on a dare? no. stupid.
*Asked for someone's number? yeah
*Said "fuck you" to your parents? I've said fuck in front of them but neer like that.
IN THE LAST 24 HOURS HAVE YOU ...
*Cried: yeah.
*Laughed: not really.
*Helped someone: yeah
*Bought something?: um.... yeah! my book
*Dissected something? nope
*Cut your hair? no
*Worn a tie? as a belt. but not like a tie, tie.
*Been kissed? not from a guy.
*Felt stupid?yeah.
*Said I love you? as a friend.
*written a real letter? yeah to my little cousin.
*written a paper? no
*taken a test? yeah.
*met someone new? yeah.
*Talked to an ex? yeah
*written in a journal: i think so.
*watched your favorite movie? yeah. last night.
*talked to someone you've had a crush on? maybe like HI BYE kinda thing. i dont remember.?
*given someone a present? no
*Had a serious talk? yeah
*Missed someone? everyday.
*hugged someone? yeah
*fought with your parents?yeah
*fought with a friend? yep :-/
PREFERENCES
*coffee or cocoa? either.
*history or science? science
*Stripes or solids? solids
*Dawsons or Po5? Dawson's
*Here or there? there
*Old or new madonna? new
*Vogue or material girl? material girl
*britney or christina? deff. christina
*Hot or Cold: Hot
*Lace or Satin: pretty new satin ballet shoes
*New or Old: new
*Rain or Snow: a sunny rain
*Give or receive: give
*Wool or Cotton: cotton
*Rose or Daisy: daisy
*Private school or public school: public
*Plain milk or choclate milk: neither.
*Celcius or fehrenheit: fehrenheit
*Spring or Fall: spring
*Math or Art: Art
*One pillow or two: three.
*Dogs or Cats: cats.
*Adidas or Nike: adidas
*Coke or Pepsi: pepsi
*Oranges or Apples: ouranges.
*Deaf or Blind: deaf. blind would me more annoying
*Pool or hottub: pool
*Blonde or Brunette: blonde
*Guys or Girls: guys even as friends. girls are just dumb sometimes. lol. no offence girls.
*Tall or short: in between
*TV or Radio: radio. deff.
THE FUTURE
*What day is it tomorrow?: 02/10/04
*What are you going to do after this? phone.
*Who are you going to talk to?: Suzie.
*Where are you going to go?: my room
*How old will you be when you graduate?: 18
*What do you wanna be?: In love. and something I love to do.
*What is one of your dreams?: To see a miricle. And to see her again.
*Where will you be in 25 years?: Hopefully not here. hah.
*What is the biggest mistake you've made in your life?: Quiting dance for that period in time. or Piano. i should'v listened to the people who told me not to.
DESCRIBE YOUR ...
*Personality: weird.
*Driving: My friends hate driving with me. except dolan and nat. they say "you never know whats going to happen" so that makes it fun i guess? but i am a good one. haha.
*Car or one you want: I just drive the van but i want my grams car.
*School: GAY
*Relationship with your parent(s): bad.
DO YOU ...
*Drink: not all the time. i dont need to do that to have fun.
*Smoke: sometimes i think i need to haha.
*Drugs: no way. losers.
*Eat meat: i dont like it a whole lot. but i eat it. just not alot
*Date: yeah. just not right now
*Have sex: not yet
*Eat sushi: I've only had it down south.
*Bake: yeah
*Wear eye shadow? no
*Eat peanuts? yeah
*Have a goldfish?nope
*Give high fives? haha yeah. i'm dumb but thats okay
*Take walks in the rain? yeah i like it. one of these days i'm going to make out in the rain.
*Do you ever have that falling dream? yeah haha.
PERSONAL STANCE ON ...
*Homosexuality: I dont agree with it.
*brand names: idk. who cares?
*Abortion: wrong. you made the choice. so just accept it. and live with it. as hard as it might be.
*Religion: Important.
*Animal Rights: shouldnt be equal to human.. but... dont like abuse em' haha.
*Love at first sight: thats a touphy. but i think so.
*God: I believe. hard sometimes.... but I know hes there.
*Aliens: haha. w/e floats your boat.
*Horoscopes: no but they're fun to read
*Pop music: some of it.
*Rap: a good amount
*80's music: the best. the older stuff is the tits.
*Punk: some.
im done. thats fun.
I need sleep tho.
Maria. |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Your all I want. Your all I need. Your Everything. |
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| 10:50am 08/02/2004 |
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mood: pissed off music: Your All I Want- Megs CD.
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Im going through a stage, Where Its like.... two different roads right infront of me. And I can see them. And Im trying to decide this road? or this road? And its a clear picture... I just cant see till the end. But its like two totally different roads. opposite of one another.
And I see myself wanting/acting like someone I never saw myself as. Or wanting to be.
Or acting like.
Maybe its just a way to run away from who I was.
I want to get out. Out of this box that I grew up with.
Something different. Extreme. And Im not talking like dying my hair or anything. haha.
Todays been rough. people are so dumb.
they get mad and so emotional about the stupidest things?
man.
I blew up today. And was close like then other times.
I think you need to get over some things.
Its ruining everything between me and you.
If its not already gone.
Just remember that.
People change. And because people have other friends? who cares. get over it. Things were weird before. Its not him.
my weekend was okay.
The most fun was the whole wedgie thing? hahaha.
I deffinitly grabbed jordans bare butt.
Then he mooned everyone and everyone was grosed out.
And then he goes and tries to give me a wedgie and the panties were so low that he thought i had nothing on. haha.
Then kembra got pop spilt all over her.
your face was hystarical kem.
Alright. I think Im done.
Jordan: thanks for everything. :-D just after that talk... I'll owe you forever. No matter what. I love you so much.
Now Im done.
Maria. |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| Take my hand. And show me things I could never feel before. |
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| 10:58am 04/02/2004 |
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mood:  cynical music: Megs CD.
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Today was ok.
One of thos days.
But Im ok. Nobody could understand anyways.
Today I went and took my brothers out of my Moms hair.
Got ice cream. lol. Then I went to dance early so I didnt have to go late to church. It was a good day at dance.
Church was good.
now im here.
And I hate updating.
What is the point?
I cant really write how i feel anyways.
weird.
w/e lol.
Dolan: I just wanted to say thanks. You know what I'm talking about. and know I'm always here for you no matter what. Just remember that your goign to look back and smile. And know it was all for a reason. I love you so much girl. And I seriously dont know where the heck I would be if we dont have thos talks.
Im out. |
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| open up your loving arms, watch out here I come. |
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| 02:12am 02/02/2004 |
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mood:  happy music: Thank You for Loving Me- Bon Jovi
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My Weekend was good :)
FRIDAY: Brian picked me up and we went to some stores.... always fun. then grams house. lol. then Dance... wow... we worked on our dance the whole time. And i wasnt at pointe for like two weeks. so my ankles hurt like a mofo. right when chris and witt came to see me. hahaha. My legs were goin crazy after. haha. Then the whole icicle thing with witt. mmm... meg! that was good. hahahaha. then the songs. wow. crazy night. we saw "you got served" it was really good. :) I sat through the whole thing. they were proud of me. normally i hate going to the movies cause their boring but... dancing ones are always good. Then steak and shake. we wont go there. haha.
SATURDAY: I was supposed to work, but I called in we went to summerset. Then came home and showered then went to Witts house. and watched the excorsist(sp?) that was kinda dumb. pointless. other then the grose parts. it just makes you think if that happend to you. thats what was scary. but pretty dumb over all. Just chilled. it was fun.
SUNDAY: church in the A.M, then nat and dolan came over to get dressed out of our church clothes. went to get something to eat, then to jordans house for superbowl. it was a lot of fun. Half time we all went outside for a snowball fight. I have a welt on my face ;). haha. but it was fun. then the game.... I wanted carolina to win.. but they didnt. close. layed around on jordans big bed. what was it like ten people this time? haha. ben stripped. Jordan took dolan and nat home... and i was right guys. :-D i'm good. then chris took me and aaron home. got home. chilled on the phone with suzie.
who has a friend to just call and remind you that she loves you and then hang up?
I love you.
I'm going to get ready for dance now. For once... i'm excited for it.
:-D
<33333
Maria. |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| Try To Love Again. |
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| 11:20am 29/01/2004 |
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mood:  relieved music: Tiny Dancer-Elton John
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I feel like telling everyone how I feel. but anonymously.
So here I go... no names. You try to figure it out.
****Your the bestest friend I could ask for. No one can read me like you can. No one has as many inside jokes or laughs or memorys as you and I do. And no ones like me as much as you are. I love you. I wouldnt take anything we've been through together back. Beccuase what we went through made us better friends. And stronger. B.F.F and ever.
Aint no mountain high. Aint no valley low. Aint no river wide enough baby.
****Im glad we're best friends. I wouldnt ask for anything more. You've been there for me when no one else was. And I can tell you anything. If it werent for you I dont think I would be where I am now. And I can always count on you for advice. Because like "you" said... when your with the girls your one of the girls. And when Im with the guys Im one of the guys. I love you so much.
I just called to say..... I LOVE YOU.
**** We've been through a lot together. And grew apart. When you were the only thing I had. We had dreams and visions. lol. I think about you everyday. And hope someday you and I can have what we used to have. We're working on it.
**** Where do I start about you? Your hilarious girl. And whenever Im down I know I can count on you for a laugh and smiles. Our convos. Now you know who you are. I love ya! and good luck with him. Glad we're friends.:) More memorys to come this year!
**** Babe, I love ya and glad we're becomming good friends. I have a lot of fun with you and when we hang out its always fun. Thanks for everything. And Friday nights yours. no one does that for me :) not even my parents. thanks. I love ya.
**** Glad we're cool now. and looking forward to becomming good friends.
****Im so glad we're becomming good friends. Your an awsome person. And I cant put into words how I feel for you. Its weird. lol. But thats okay. Cause your weird. Its different with you, I have a lot of fun when your around.... and hope we hang out more. And become even better friends, Thanks for always being there for me. Even when you dont know it. I love you. no matter what. <333
****We have been friends for a long time. And for a little bit I thought we could never be friends again. but I'm glad we got through it and are able to look back, and laugh at all of our good times together. You'll always be one of my best friends and I can always count on you for a hug or someone to cry with.
****I miss you a lot. And hope we hang out more. I love you and Hope things get better. good times. its all good... NO its all great! stay safe girl. You know the number if you need me.
Last. But not least.:
****You dont view this. But I feel like writing about you:
I love you so much. And I cherish you. I dont think anyone can compare to you. You've been through so much, but yet your the strongest person I know. Keep it up. I love the way you call just to check up on my boy life. No one looks out for me like you do. I love you with all my heart. I always look at old pictures of when me and you were little and Best Friends, I pray that we just continue to grow together and never loose what we have. We had a lot of fun this summer. Im glad you went. I love you Brian. And I wish everyone had a cousin like you.
alright Im done, I think.
That was a lot of fun. hahaha.
The people I wrote in there are the poeple that mean the most to me. Thanks guys. It it werent for you guys. I dont think I would be here right now.
Good luck trying to figure out where you are ;)
Maria. |
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Read 7 - Post |
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| When it rains it pours. |
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| 11:18am 27/01/2004 |
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mood:  cheerful music: Mercy Me.
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today.
:-D
i really did not want to go with my dad and spend the day with him... but i'm so glad i did. It meant the world to me that we could just go and talk the whole way about dreams and the house we're going to get, my friends and just... special stuff. then shop till we literally dropped. lol. then he took me out to eat. I needed that. Just time with my old daddy.
we covered all of summerset. all of it!
He bought me a lot. I went in express and felt like a princess i had girls that worked there just picking up everything that they saw. haha. i never got treated like that.
He didnt have to buy me all that stuff.....
And i thought he was just trying to buy his love but he wasnt we talked. and had a good time. like we used to have. just me and him. :-D x 50000000
Me and My Dad.
Then i went tanning. wow. big mistake..... im deff. burnt. I didnt want my mom to see my tanlines so i didnt wear anything hahaha. i came home and hid in the dark. so she couldnt find me.
then we went to church after target.
the prayer thing was good. i liked it. then we stayed for the band practice and talked the whole time. showed dolan and mills my butt. hahaha. my cousin called me talked to him. meghan was screaming stuff on the phone! Gosh i hate her. lol .
Then steak and shake. fun.
but i'm done it really hurts to sit down hahaha.
Tomorrow work and dance. then church. its wed. already! psh.
<33
Maria |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| Still not good enough. |
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| 01:52pm 26/01/2004 |
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mood: Unexplainable. music: More Then Fine.
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*One of those days....
I HATE
Waking up in the morning.
Dad brybing(sp?)me with shopping just to get to know me again.
When they sing I can only Imagine at church.
The sick feeling I get when someone talks about cancer.
or dying.
the way my parents put on a show.
How they act like the way the "love" me.
How I dont have a seat at the table when my dads eating with all his kids.
And how I had to be here for his birthday when he wasnt here for mine.
I dont have time.
how I cant sleep at night.
rules.
being afraid.
Stuff my parents say to me.
And how no matter what I wear...they always have to say SOMETHING!
how I cant just be perfect.
How I dont know anything.
How I feel like im wasting my time on everything.
how.I.Just.Cant.Be.....The.One.
For anything.
How the one thing I dont have is the one thing to get you through everything.
I LOVE
the days where I want to be here.
The times Im with someone where I dont have to be afraid.
Times I'm in someones arms.
When someone tells me they love me.
Suzie:)
My youth Pastor.
Dancing.
Music.
My Grents.
Down south.
How Im content.
When I read Jordans Profile thing.
The only few people who have been there for me. You know who you are. <33
On a lighter note.. my weekend was ok. I had fun with witt on saturday. Sunday sucked but w.e lol.
and i dont feel like updating.
*where theres only one thing that works....
yet another day. I need a punching bag. Or a week away from here.
maybe spring break? i hope so :-/
Road trip. :)
Havent brought it up to the rents yet tho.
Im not down. And I wont bring myself down.
Or let them.
I wont do it again.
Maria. |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| This Is Not Right. |
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| 02:10am 24/01/2004 |
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mood:  curious music: You Dont Have To Let Go-Jessica Simpson
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Tonight was fun.
Happy Sweet 16 Dolan!!!!! :-D
Me and Dolan stayed up late last night just talking about the good ol' times.
Wow. long time meg.
Her party Was off the hook.
We had a lot of fun. we went ice skating and nocked kemper down the whole time hahaha. sorry. :-/ then Brad came and ice skated with me. haha. saw a bunch of people there for my cousins hockey game. Meg thinks Kreg is cute. wow. okay! hahaha. sorry meg.
We walked into the guys bathroom not thinking. not noticing the signs. We saw a bunch of urinals and started running. hahaha. wow. funny crap. Saw ty there. With all his friends.
Everyone saw my Grams :-D
And everyone called her Grandma. lol.
Witt. haha.
My Grandpa kept telling me to fix my hat. it was funny.
Then we went to Dolans house and had a parrttayy.. haha.
It was a lot of fun.
Skipped dance. I swear. I've skipped more dance then i have gone to dance. I hate that feeling. but it was for a good cause this time! lol.
Wedensday Mrs. Maria told me and Katie they miss us when we're not there. That means we're never there. hahahaha
Tomorrow: maybe just lay around? who knows. Witt and I are gunna do something fo sho. just dont know what yet. lol. We'll figure it out.
I'm supposed to be grounded from the computer.
lol. And My mom took my cell phone away from me.
Last night my Dad woke up and found me on here.
I didnt see my Dad at all today. Happy Birthday Daddy. :-/
hes gone for the weekend.
oh well. what else is new?
My Mom told me to never ask her for another thing becuase i put a skuff on the floor? wtf?
parents i swear. Sometimes i just want to do smoething to MAKE them kick me out of the house. lol. psh. I wish. Canada here I come.
we did this little love, hand thing.... it was intresting. Funny to see everyones results.
I'm out.
Brian said hes going to the kid rock show.
duuude. I hate him.
Everyone says he sucks. but i dk. I like him. lol.
I wish.
Later. |
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